Let Me Repeat Myself!!

Because you obviously didn’t hear me the first time! Let’s take a moment and go over basic manners that you SHOULD know whether there is a global pandemic at hand or not!

Let me start by saying I cannot even believe what I have already had to experience being on the “front line” in an essential service store. Every single day I am both ashamed and amazed at the acts of humanity.

I’ll make it easy, I’ll try and do this in point form.

No matter what happened to you Helen, you do not in any way, shape or form, have the right to call me useless. Especially after I have explained that while you did not get in touch with the right department, I’m trying to help.

You sir, should never feel like it is ok to yell at anyone that this is compete bullshit when you park your Jetta in front of the doors and we ask you to move. Twice. Because your blocking the main exit we do deliveries out of.

Ryan. Dear Ryan. After I have explained to you three times that your online order you placed in the last hour will be ready as soon as humanly possible as we are short staffed and receive about 50 orders an hour….you sir should feel exceptionally happy with yourself for asking me if I think you will get it sometime this year. You are lucky I chose not to “lose it” for at least a week.

Let’s move on to Karen. The lovely lady that really never should have left her house if all she was going to do was scream at everyone to get the hell out of her 6 foot space when really….you’re in my space Karen, stop leaning on the counter to yell at me closer.

Another thing Karen? You certainly do not have to the right to get right up in my face screaming about how awful this is that you lost your job and I’m………wait for it……useless! If you lost your job Karen what in the hell are you doing here shopping for plants???

If you seriously just watched me completely sanitize the check out station before you and you lose your mind over the thought of touching the scanning gun but you will take off your gloves to use the debit machine….you’re cracked and should stay home.

Sir. You in the F350. The line up is for everyone. Yes really. It’s the rule. No, I won’t fuck off. I’m getting paid to be yelled at today.

Ma’am. Ma’am! Those doors are closed! Yes only the one entrance on the right is open. Yes you actually have to go alllllll the way over there if you want to go shopping. For plants.

Hello sir! The line is over here. I’m sorry you’ve already been in the god damned line once today and you’re too good to wait in it again but those are the rules. For everyone. Not just you.

Oh Karen! You’re back! I’m so sorry your son sent you to pick up 10 – 25kg bags of dirt after a hip replacement. Instead of yelling at me about it maybe have a chat with your useless son!!!

Please!!! For the love of everything we miss in our lives, please stop throwing your dirty gloves and masks on the ground wherever you damn well feel like! You are a privileged slob and I hope our paths never cross.

No, I’m sorry. We have no hand sanitizer in stock. It’s been weeks now and we can’t get any. No I’m not lying and saving it for the staff. No there isn’t any in the back or up top. No, you can’t go to receiving to check for yourself.

I’m glad your freezer was delivered today as scheduled and I’m sorry you just spent 10 minutes of my time asking where the box went. All appliance deliveries are unpacked and inspected (by you) and the crew takes the dirty garbage away. That’s their job. I’m sorry we threw out your garbage for you Karen.

And to the dirty contractor that left his jug of piss in a cart for someone else to put in the garbage. There is a special place in hell for you and your useless bullshit. You sir, are trash.

If you need to go to an essential store that is still open for foot traffic, I emplore you to keep a few things in mind. We have about 60% less staff than normal with about 40-50% more work load that changes every day. We are stressed and exhausted and show up every day for YOU. So you can get what you need. There will be a line up to get in. Period. Come with patience and maybe some smiles because after your dog scared the shit out of me when I opened your truck to place your priveleged order in…. I need all the smiles I can get. So I can keep giving them out.

To everyone that is essential. You’ve got this. 💚

Essentially but damn tired. Me.

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